Funeral Homes Use ChatGPT for Obituaries, Sparks Ethical Debate
Funeral homes and grieving families are increasingly turning to artificial intelligence chatbots to generate obituaries for the recently deceased, marking a significant shift in how technology is being used to automate even the most emotionally sensitive aspects of human experience.
This growing trend was a prominent topic at last year’s National Funeral Directors Association conference in Las Vegas, according to Ryan Lynch, head of product at cemetery software developer PlotBox. Lynch noted that one attendee even described AI as the most significant advancement in funeral home technology since embalming tools, a claim he found somewhat exaggerated. Among the innovations highlighted was Nemu, an “AI-enabled recognition tool” that helps catalog and appraise a deceased person’s belongings for distribution among family members, which secured second place in the conference’s Innovation Awards.
Proponents argue that AI can serve as an “enabler of human connection.” Sonali George, founder of the AI obituary generator CelebrateAlley, suggests that these tools can help individuals express heartfelt tributes, even when struggling with grief. She posed the question of whether a machine-written list of “25 reasons why I love you, mom” would still hold meaning.
The appeal of AI-generated obituaries is straightforward: they align with the broader trend of technology aiming to simplify our lives, even down to deeply personal interactions. Writing an obituary while coping with the loss of a loved one can be incredibly difficult, and finding the right words can add immense stress. AI offers a way to alleviate this burden. Jeff Fargo, a 55-year-old Nevada resident, shared how ChatGPT helped him memorialize his mother. He explained that he was emotionally unable to write the tribute his mother deserved, but by providing extensive details to the AI, it produced a well-received obituary. Fargo plans to use a new “Deep Research mode” feature for his father’s obituary when the time comes, hoping his children will follow suit for him one day.
However, this reliance on AI also raises concerns. Some argue that bypassing the emotional work of writing an obituary might hinder the grieving process, which often requires confronting difficult emotions. Writing can be a cathartic experience, and it also demonstrates a willingness to put in effort to honor a loved one’s life. The mother of an AI obituary generator developer expressed a sentiment shared by many seniors: it can be disheartening to think that someone would choose a “faster way to remember you and move on with their lives.”
Testing of AI obituary writing tools, such as CelebrateAlley (powered by OpenAI and Anthropic models), has revealed common criticisms: the technology’s tendency to invent details and use overly ornate or preachy language. For instance, when prompted to write about a fictional “Jimmy” described as thoughtful, the AI elaborated that “His thoughtful nature manifested in countless acts of kindness, each gesture reflecting his profound understanding of human nature…” Similarly, a prompt describing Jimmy as strong led the AI to embellish that his strength was “legendary among those who knew him — not merely physical prowess, but an inner fortitude…” even without mention of friends or family in the prompt.
Mary McGreevy, who runs a popular TikTok account dedicated to reading obituaries, suggests that these AI outputs, while sounding “writerly,” often lack the authenticity that makes obituaries truly meaningful. She believes that the most impactful obituaries are not necessarily professionally polished, but rather those written by ordinary people who “just lay it all out there,” capturing the raw, imperfect essence of the person. According to McGreevy, AI effectively “airbrushes” these imperfections, potentially diminishing the very elements that help people in their grief.